With the financial markets in turmoil and the government running around bailing out everybody that made multiple dumb decisions we offer this unsolicited financial advice: sell stocks and buy wine. What will appreciate more in our new socialistic system than wine of the people? We are talking about inexpensive wines (25.00 and under) that are made by farmers without manipulation. Since the world is turning socialist (down with big business, up with big government), and no one will want to buy wines made by uber-wealthy oligarchies (down with big Cabernet, up with big Gamay), we predict the value of our wines, made by farmers with socialist leanings, to skyrocket. In the vein of your previous money manager, who now has large crescent moon sweat rings on his Ermenegildo Zegna suit shirt, let us put together a properly diversified new portfolio for you, all available and heavily discounted at Washoe Wine.
12 bottles of La Biancara Masieri Rosso 2006
12 bottles of Franco Noussan Cuve de la Cote 2006
12 bottles of Sansonniere Anjou Blanc La Lune 2006
12 bottles of A et MQuenard Mondeusse VV 2006
12 bottles of Occhipiniti Frappato 2005
12 bottles of Tue-Boeuf Cheverny Rouge 2007
12 bottles of Chignard Fleurie "Les Moriers" 2006
12 bottles of d'Anguera Finca L'Argata 2004
6 bottles of Maestro Sierra Oloroso
Stock these wines away in a cool slightly humid place, like the corner of your garage or under your water heater, and watch your money double/triple and quadruple. Also advised is to keep your current equity portfolio and use these wines to numb the pain until its value starts to rise again, but in today's climate who the hell cares about doing sensible things!
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